Thesis? Who's Afraid?

The enthusiasm of students of the Faculty of Psychology welcomed and participated in the 'Thesis Writing Workshop' should be appreciated. This event is for students this semester thesis assignment. For five consecutive days, on 17-24 September 2012 students of the Faculty of Psychology attend event in the auditorium of the Faculty of Psychology UGM.

The material provided is complete ranging from faculty regulations regarding duty to Content thesis thesis itself. The series of events following the workshop. Faculty policy matters concerning the implementation of thesis writing by Drs. Helly P. Soetjipto, MA, Drs. Amrizal Rustam, SU, and Drs. Budi Purwanto, MS. At the start of the event, students get a complete picture of the ideal implementation of theses three lecturers. On the same day (17/9) followed by Ramat Hidayat, Ph.D., of the problem, Problem Identification and Formulation Thesis title.

The next series is the Literature Review and Theory Development Platform by Dr. Maria Goretti Adiyanti, MS and Quantitative Research Methodology by prof. Dr. Asmadi Alsa. The last show will be carried out on Monday (24/9) by Drs. Rustam about writing Amrizal Results, Discussion, Conclusions, and Recommendations. Completion of the program, the participants were able to say to yourself, "Thesis? Who's Afraid? "

Berta Goddess Nugraheni, student of Psychology UGM Go International

Faculty of Psychology UGM re-carve a proud record of achievement by successfully sending a representative to participate in the student exchange program to the University of Groningen , The Netherlands. He was the Goddess Nugraheni Berta, S1 class of 2009, recipient of a scholarship from Lotus Erasmus Mundus Action 2. The girl who was familiarly called Berta said he did not think he managed to get this rare opportunity, "It was like a dream, because it went to foreign countries and feel the education system there is a dream so far," he said.

Berta into 1 of 5 GMU students are selected to represent the University and Indonesia (as well as 20 students of ASEAN and Chinese undergraduate exchange program) to experience lectures in European countries during the first semester. "I'm happy here, here lecturers are very close to the students, they are also willing to take the time to discuss post-lecture ended and very open to student opinion. Also, before lecturing in all the courses, students are always asked to read the journals uploaded by lecturers at Nestor (sort of integrated information system SIT its Faculty of Psychology UGM), so that when the lectures, all students have basic knowledge about the matter today it is then added to the faculty in a more comprehensive explanation with examples applicable, bright Berta.

Speaking about the facility, known active students within and outside the scope of the campus is claimed here is very adequate learning facilities. "The library in my department is open until 10 pm, even university libraries are open until 12 o'clock at night. Besides the internet connection is also very fast, very complete collection of literature, and Rijksuniversiteit Groningen (RUG) is also a lot of journal subscriptions. Studying here is very pleasant with a quiet atmosphere, and both faculty and university library is always crowded by students, who do the work or just learning or reading a book, "added Beth."

Alluding to the city where he lived in the Netherlands, Berta said that Groningen is a city with the largest youth population in the Netherlands, which is 1/3 of the population of the city of Groningen is a student from elementary school to higher education. "Here the city that 'young', and I feel like living in Indonesia because they are very friendly," added Beth.

Talk about expectations, Berta hope when he got it back to Indonesia, he can share stories and experiences felt the lectures in the Netherlands. "I hope his knowledge and experience that I can not only myself, but also for all those who want to know and learn. I'm always open to share the things that I was lucky to get out of this scholarship, obviously Berta. He also can not wait to return to his "unfinished struggle" at GMU. "I wanted to finish skrisi, returned to pick up the dream and be prepared to contribute more to the UGM and Indonesia," he concluded.

After Dean Period 2008-2012

Prof. Dr. Faturochman, dean of the Faculty of Psychology UGM period 2008-2012, reported the results of its performance accountability on Friday, October 5, 2012. Accountability dean consists of a full report on the institutional, academic, student affairs, construction, and renovation at the Faculty of Psychology.

During this period, there is the addition of two new units, namely the Center for Indigenous & Cultural Psychology (CICP) and the Center for Public Mental Health. (CPMH). In the introduction to his report, he admitted that during the period of his leadership, there are two important events for the science of psychology itself, the International Conference on Indigenous and Cultural Psychology (ICICP) and Biopsychology Conference.

Many other things have been achieved in a period of five years, for example, the success of faculty preformance increase the number of graduates S2 and S3 from 2009 until 2010, the development of Integrated Information System (SIT) for the academic community, improving the use of fingerprint not only for staff but also for students, as well as the change of Competency Curriculum Curriculum 2007 to 2011 in the teaching of psychology.

Student affairs was also not spared from the achievement. Activities prestigious Student Creativity Program (PKM) 2011 was followed by 78 groups of students, 13 of whom escaped funded, and one group successfully brought home a bronze medal from the event PIMNAS. Not only foster student success at the national level, more than 80 students participated participation in international activities in 2011. International activities include seminars, student exchanges, training, competition, and study visits. Not in vain, some students even managed to get a prestigious award from the international arena.

Increasing the quality of student competence balanced with teaching staff that is always updated. One of them is through the recruitment of teaching staff. Over the last five years, there were 13 active lecturer who joined the teaching team. All this is done with a sense of responsibility by all faculty team. In the process, cultural activities for the welfare of the staff were always carried out, such as prayer and sharing in the morning before work, awards and prizes, to breakfast and lunch together.

As dean, Prof. Dr. Faturochman also initiated sustainability of the maintenance and renovation of facilities and faculty pre-owned vehicle. Renovation of the building with additional space G G-400 on the 4th floor, and maintenance of building A and building B successfully implemented.

Hail to the Faculty of Psychology UGM success!

Atmospheric New, New Dean

Faculty of Psychology, University of Gadjah Mada colored with a new atmosphere. Changes and improvements will continue to roll refining steps. An earlier change had already begun on 8 October 2012 with the holding of the dean position handover. Submitted to the dean's office was elected, Supra Wimbarti, M.Sc., Ph.D., of the previous period (2008-2012), Prof.. Dr. Faturochman, MA

Handover of office in the presence of various elements of the academic community, Gadjah Mada University Faculty of Psychology and some invited guests was held with great fondness. The event begins with a warm-hearted, reading UGM Rector, signing ceremony of post-dean of the Faculty of Psychology of the University of Gadjah Mada. The signing was conducted by the newly elected dean along with the dean of the period 2008-2012. Further speeches and closed with prayer.

In his speech, Prof. Dr. Faturochman, MA expressed his gratitude to the entire academic psychology as educators, staff, and potmapsi, and kapsigama. Because felt has been able and willing to work together in the development of the Faculty of Psychology of the period of office. Not missing too, he expressed hope for the future of the Faculty of Psychology UGM. "Equipment we appreciated Univertas level. Thank you to my colleagues on faculty research activities and presentations, a lecturer who now have air conditioning and vertical blinds may be a comfortable place in serving students, "said the dean of the 2008-2012 period is.

Drs. Haryanto Fadholan Rosyid, MA, chairman of the Faculty of Psychology Korpagama (Corps employee UGM), representing lecturers convey impressions to the dean of the period 2008-2012. "Mr. Fatur is a firm, courageous, and always pay attention to the young and old", he explained. It also expressed the election of deans kegembiraanya daughter at GMU after so long.

This Handover Function did not forget to share and invite representatives of some students, to also feel the change of leadership in progress. Of the students, represented by Banyu Wicaksono. Spoken speech contains new expectations to be desired, and some changes have diprtimbangkan, as well as constructive suggestions for this new period. In addition, as chairman of Forum Communications Faculty of Psychology UGM BKM, also represents student friends to thank Prof. Dr. Faturochman, MA, and congratulations on the election of a new dean Supra Wimbarti, M.Sc., Ph.D.

The event continues to unfold. Remarks from various parties such as from Kapsigama, by Isnanto Bachtiar Senoadi and from Potmapsi, represented by the chairman of the Haryanto Budhiawan Potmapsi, SH, M.Sc. And continued with the narrative of AP2TPI by Dr. Seger Handoyo. "My friend Mr. fatur colleague for the past 4 years has been cooperating with the Indonesian Psychological education. Until AP2TPI could until now, one of which the cause is characteristic of Mr. Fatur hard outside soft inside. First colloquium organization without form. Colloquium become permanent legal organization with board Wilham Mr. Dahlan mansur, Mrs. Roose Teak Juke Siregar, me and Mr. Fatur. Hopefully mb Iim can continue good cooperation ", said Dr. Seger Handoyo. The last speech was awaited from the new dean elected for the period 2012-2016.

In his speech, Supra Wimbarti, M.Sc, Ph.D said to reflect and consider what needs to be continued and continue the struggle that has been initiated earlier. "Thanks to the Faculty of Psychology UGM academic senate and the dean selection committee has successfully organized elections dean politely. Location of basic academic, what was built Insyallah be developed again. We are able to consult with the former dean. We can work together. As the University of populist let's build the country for the people. Together seeking health, adequate rest and think positive ", said the new dean, who is familiarly called the IIM's mother calls.

Psychological Quality Model Marriage Married Couple

Thursday (10/10/2012), officially Wahyuningsih Hepi Gadjah Mada to doctoral-1750. Hepi successfully defended his dissertation, entitled "Psychological Quality Model Marriage Married Couple" Psychology Doctoral Program at the Faculty of Psychology UGM.

Marriage is an activity, so as to pursue the goal of marriage is the core of the quality of the marriage. In the psychological model of marital quality, there are 3 things that influence religiosity, commitment, and sacrifice. Religiosity is taken as a master of virtue.

Lecturer at the Faculty of Psychology and Social Sciences Cultural Islamic University of Indonesia is taking couples who have been divorced as a subject of research, both Muslim and have children. In detail, the 156 couples studied, they have tribes of Java, have 2 children, educated SMTA, the average marriage age of 14.46 years, the average age of the husband and 40.24 years, while the average age of 37.07 years old wife group .

The results showed that the selection of a partner with the same level of religiosity will also provide the same view of the marriage in order to reach a high-quality marriage. "Religiosity a wife to have an important role because it affects the quality of marriage and the quality of their marriage her husband, said Hepi when the exam is open in the auditorium of the Faculty of Psychology UGM.

Mother of Akhyar, Sofwan, and Hilman revealed that the eudaimonik theory suggests that religion (in this case Islam) has the principal function of the marriage, namely providing instruction and guidance for its followers in order to achieve a high quality marriage so avoid divorce.

Other results show the influence of marital commitment to quality marriage husband husband is totally mediated by the sacrifice of the husband suggests an important role. While the effect of a wife's sacrifice is an inverted U-wife marital quality.

Board of examiners in an open examination Hepi as follows: Prof. Dr. Sartini Nuryoto as a promoter; Ko-promoters namely Dr. Tina Afiatin and Dr. Avin Fadilla Helmi; Team consists of Supra Wimbarti Examiner, Ph.D., Dr. Subandi, Prof. Dr. Asmadi Alsa, Prof. Dr. Siti Partini S., Prof. Dr. Amitya Kumara, Dr. Rahmat Hidayat.

The Rebound-Effect of Priming; An Environmental Psychological Approach

 

Since a couple of decennia, environmental problems have Become a worldwide concern. Numerous movements and political parties struggle against global environmental problems, such as deforesting, global warming, and CO2 emission. However, since the human race is strongly in need of our nature, one could raise the question: why do people behave in a way Often that is destructive for their and other's environment?

This question will be elaborated a bit more in this research, roomates is a collaboration between the University of Gadjah Mada, Indonesia and the University of Groningen, the Netherlands. The collaboration exist of Pieter Meinema (master student in social and environmental psychology in the University of Groningen, the Netherlands), Monica Dea Yanuardani and Kristina (undergraduate students in the UGM), under the supervision of Dr. Neila Ramdhani.

The research will focus on values, value-activation in relation to the Participants' attitudes, and preferences to a specific environmental friendly service, namely: locally produced renewable energy. Since cultural values ​​are strongly based, the researcher expect a significant difference in values ​​between Dutch and Indonesian people. However, the main interest of this research is the way in roomates values ​​can be activated. By means of a prime, activate Researchers values ​​to the make individuals more Influential in the Participants' attitudes and preferences towards local energy. Hypothesize that people's values ​​are decisive in the way they perceive the environmental friendly energy, after the prime. For instance, whereas people with strong environmental values ​​will be affected by the prime positively, egoistic people with strong values ​​will be more negatively influenced by the prime.

So, this cross-cultural research try to find a rebound-effect of priming, According to the strength of one's values. A prime may not always Affect people in the Desired direction, but might even cause them to think and perceive in the opposite way; it might polarize people based on their values.

Faculty of Psychology UGM back luluskan 39 psychologists and 28 Scientists

Faculty of Psychology, University of Gadjah Mada held back the release of graduates graduate program housed in the auditorium (24.10.2012). The total number of graduates by 67 people, 39 graduate programs and 28 Master of Professional Psychology Masters Program in Psychology graduates. So far has graduated the Faculty of Psychology UGM 1775 as graduate work.

In the Master of Professional Psychology Program, graduates who achieve the highest GPA is 4.00 and Bethya Paramitha degree cum laude. Besides Bethya, cum laude degree also achieved by the 17 graduates, including Venisa Dwipa Sari, Andrian Liem, Esra Post Build, Fitria Rahmi, Widyarsi Mahandriyani Hapsariputri, bleary-eyed Kwartawati Oktavia Simbolon, Irene Fatmawati, Hotpascaman Simbolon, Mia Rahma Romadona, Kristi Maharani, Ifa Nurdiyani , Pratista Satwika Arya, Augustin Azri Suciati, Dida Erlina, Hemi Mahawati, Resty Pramitha Goddess, Ruth Tiara Widiastuti. The average graduate GPA is 3.72. Shortest study period 1 year 10 months taken by Andrian Liem.

Arumi Savitri Fatimaningrum & Hazhira Qudsyi perform as well as winning the highest GPA of 3.89 cum laude for the Master of Psychology. Degree cum laude is also achieved by Dian Rini Sundari and Masnaeni Ahmad. The average graduate GPA is 3.5. Shortest study period 1 year 6 months taken by Laumi.

How to Optimize Brain Function We?

Faculty of Psychology Gadjah Mada University and its Institute for Research Training and Development organized a workshop Smart Moves with Carla Hannaford, Ph.D. on optimization of brain function. Carla herself was a biologist, educator, award winning author, even the musicians who came from Hawaii, Montana. Smart Moves take place Wednesday, October 24th, 2012 at 9:00 to 3:00 p.m. pm in the meeting room of the Faculty of Psychology UGM A203.

In general, the show is to answer questions that often occur in education practitioners on "Why learning is not all in your head?" Smart Moves is highly recommended for psychologists with focus areas biopsychologist, child development psychology, clinical psychology, and educational psychology.

As a parent who wants to give the best for their child. By applying the proper way of learning and fun for baby means so much to the parents. In addition, for teachers who want to prepare their students to be more comfortable and more enthusiasm in learning, Smart Moves is highly recommended for teachers. Not only teachers with high student enthusiasm for learning, but also for teachers dealing with difficult pupils act.

This workshop is also intended for health professionals, such as therapists of children with ADHD, autism and other spectrum. This workshop is great for educators who want to develop a learning-based brain function as well as physicians with a focus on child development.

Declaration School of Expression and Prosperous Indonesia: From Student to Indonesia Jogja

Division of Education's Center for Public Mental Health (CPMH) Faculty of Psychology UGM events, expressions and declarations School Prosperous Indonesia: From Student to Jogja Indonesia (10/28/2012). The event was held March 1 Monument attack followed Oemoem upper secondary students from all over Indonesia with some 620 student registrants. A total of 366 works of students from various parts of Indonesia successfully collected in the form of essays, photos, comics, and short films. The works are a medium for students to vent .

An ideal school concept with the headline Indonesia Prosperous Schools must meet four aspects: 1) a healthy school environment and conducive, 2) the interaction of a good school with all elements of the school, 3) student the opportunity to actualize themselves and develop their potential, and 4 ) physical and mental health status is good. School of Indonesia Prosperous should characterize all schools in Indonesia, also meant that the school can provide a healthy expression for students.

A total of approximately 400 students Yogyakarta, Indonesia declared the core of the School Welfare. This action is a form of their concern for the student role as the next generation. Declaration made in the spirit of the message "JOGJA FOR STUDENTS OF INDONESIA". The contents of the declaration prepared by students from more than 10 high school / vocational school in Yogyakarta Province. Submission declaration also performed in sign language by some students with special needs of Deaf Art Community. In addition, elements of students and learners as the vanguard of educational progress closely and synergistically collaborate with the committee and the success of the event in hand.

Learner declaration Jogja is as follows:
Our Student Jogja, states:

1. Students Jogja is the next generation who love the motherland and the nation
2. Students Jogja committed uphold cultural values, discipline, manners, and ethics
3. Students Jogja is a part of Indonesian students who promised to respect and appreciate the differences that exist
4. Students Jogja is a unified whole that is committed to each other and keep each other down

Our Student Jogja, Calls:

1. In all Indonesian students:
   Let's unite to forge themselves into communities of learners are commendable
2. In all Indonesian students:
   Come together to build the image of students who love peace and non-violence
3. In all Indonesian students:
   Let's unite ranks to create an atmosphere of creative learning, full of respect, and freedom from discrimination
4. In all Indonesian students:
   Come together to implement and maintain the values ​​of noble character, morals, and ethics

Declaration School of Expression and Prosperous Indonesia: From Student to Indonesia Jogja enlivened with flashmob dance by more than 400 students on the theme "It's Indonesia". Unit also Swagayugama Dance, mime SMA 11 Yogyakarta, Yogyakarta six high school band, and the band Javablanca helped enliven the event.

Importance of Emotion Regulation and Social Support in Children Educate Children prisons

During the development of the child, not the least of those involved that led to the crime has begun and the child. Statistics from www.ditjenpas.go.id page shows the average number of students has begun and the child (prisons kids) tend to rise each year. As per law number 12 of 1995 section 14, each of the students in prisons child gets the right of worship, nursing, education, health care and a decent meal. The reality on the ground unfortunately still not ideal associated fulfillment of their rights. The results Lubis (2008) prove the number of students who experience psychological problems such as depression and research Faizza (2009) proves the lack of resilience of the students in child prisons.

The living conditions of the child prisons touching hearts Psychology Doctoral Program students of the Faculty of Psychology UGM - Yulia Sholichatun to research them further. Yulia focuses discover what factors are contributing to the ability of their students in the face of stress or minimize adverse impacts (resilience) of stress. Research subjects involving 160 male students in prisons and Kutoarjo Blitar child between the ages of 13-21 years old.

The results showed that emotion regulation and social support moderate the relationship of stress and the proven resilience of students prisons. Resilience of children in prisons will thrive when they are able to make choices that adaptive coping mainly positive reappraisal, as well as adequate social support available from the prisons as well as by the internal capabilities such as religiosity, meaning the ability and personality factors that support such self efficacy and hardiness.

Housed in the auditorium of the Faculty of Psychology, mother of Musthofa 'Ainul Umam successfully defended his dissertation entitled "emotion regulation and social support as a moderator of the relationship of stress and resilience in students in child prisons" (11/26/12). The study has been delivered to the University of Gadjah Mada to doctoral-1824.

Board of examiners in the examinations open doctoral faculty UIN Malang is Supra Wimbarti, M.Sc., Ph.D., chairman and dean of the School of Psychology, Prof.. Dr. M. Rochman Hadjam as promoter, Prof. Dr. Tina Afiatin as co-promoter, Prof. Dr. Siti Partini Suardiman, Prof. Dr. Yusti Probowati, and Dr. MG. Adiyanti.

Loving Education for Gifted Children

Loving educational seminars for gifted children held by the Unit of Psychology UGM Consulting Psychology Fakulktas in the auditorium Fakulktas Psychology UGM (30/11/2012). The material presented Dr. MG. Adiyanti know about gifted children followed by Dr. Wisjnu Martani with material handling gifted children. The last session of gifted education delivered by resource persons and representatives Disdikpora Yogyakarta Muhammadiyah elementary school principal Sapen Yogyakarta. Seminar participants numbering 50 people, consisting of kindergarten and elementary school teachers, parents and psychologists. They enthusiastically attend every seminar session moderator accompanied Yuli Dawn Susetyo, Msi and Edilburga W. Saptandari, M.Psi.

Gifted children is not an ordinary child. In the normal curve, they are not located in the middle but at the right end. This means that these children have the ability above normal. They have a great potential to be developed intellectual stimulation and special containers. But unfortunately the presence of gifted children are often not recognized by parents, teachers, and the community.

Dr. MG. Adiyanti - Psychologist Psychology UGM Fakulkas child development said that children who have the potential or demonstrated level of success in one area or more than friends number approximately 5% of the student population. Character gifted children generally learn easy and fast, able to think abstractly and critically, being a perfectionist, shows independent and non-conformist attitude, high self-awareness, and tend to relate to the people above age.

Son was originally seen as a gifted child who has high intelligence and good school achievement. However, the problem turned out to be more complex because there are data that find they have difficulties in learning. Children need to get stimulation talented gifted education in accordance with the level of ability. Only 1, 2 gifted students receive an education appropriate to their needs. "Education should meet the needs of gifted children intellectually, emotionally, and socially", he said when the informant loving educational seminars for gifted children.

Faculty of Psychology UGM Participate Participate Psychiatric Pan Arab Conference on the 12th.

Subandi, Ph.D and Achmad Taufik, representing the Faculty of Psychology UGM S.Psi participated in the Pan Arab Psychiatric Conference 12. Conference held in Dubai, United Arab Emirates (UAE) for 3 days from November 29 through December 1, 2012.

Topic Conference on Mental Health this time changes in the Arab World: Violence, Trauma and Recovery. While they presented research on Post traumatic growth in disaster survivors Merapi.

Subandi, Ph.D said their paper that most of the responses among the other papers on the presentation session. "This is possible because our paper about the positive aspects of the trauma, while most of the paper presented is a negative aspect of the trauma of the war in the Middle East, ranging from the war in Iraq, Syria, in Lybia," he said.

Subandi, Ph.D. also explains the fact there are three students who completed the study S1 umbrella. Because of the high cost of the conference then just Subandi, Ph.D., principal investigator, and Achmad Taufik, S.Psi who went to Dubai.

From this conference, Subandi, Ph.D. as vice dean of academic affairs, research and service to the Society of the Faculty of Psychology UGM hope will be established networking psychology and psychiatry in the Arab world with the Faculty of Psychology UGM.

Title Associate Dean Handover Period Period 2008-2012 to 2012-2016

Faculty of Psychology, University of Gadjah Mada organized handover vice dean of the period 2008-2012 to the period 2012-2016 (12/10/2012). The position of vice-dean of the long period occupied by Drs. Subandi, MA, Ph.D in academics, research and dedication to the People, Dra. Sri Hartati, M.Si in the areas of administration, finance and resource development, Drs. Helly Soetjipto Prajitno, MA in kemahsiswaan, alumni, and cooperation. While today is the deputy dean Prof. Dr. Amitya Kumara, MS., As vice dean of academic affairs and student affairs, Rahmat Hidayat, S.Psi., M.Sc., Ph.D., as vice dean of finance, assets and sources of human power, and Drs. Subandi, MA., Ph.D., as vice dean of research, community service and cooperation.

Housed in the auditorium, the event begins with the reading of the decision of the Rector of Universitas Gadjah Mada by Hadianto. After that memory handover handover from the vice dean of the long period to the new period. This historic moment was witnessed by teachers, staff, students, alumni, and stakeholders Faculty of Psychology, University of Gadjah Mada.

Dra. Sri Hartati, M.Si period 2008-2012 represents the vice dean said the actual position of the dean and vice dean of the package called Dekanat. The difference is the dean and vice dean of the start and completion of such difference 2 months. Sense syukurpun gushing where they have helped deans period 2008-2012, and the new dean of the transition period 2012-2016 for 2 months. Thanks are expressed to all of the entire academic community and stakeholders for your cooperation and support. "We apologize if during stints there are things that are less pleasing. To the new vice dean, good work and continue the relay. Greater challenge where the position of UGM in transition keorganisasiannya. We hope everyone continues to support the new Dekanat", he explained.

Furthermore, Prof. Dr. Amitya Kumara, MS represents the vice-dean of the new period to thank you for the trust that was given to the three new vice dean for co-manage, assist, and develop faculty. Furthermore, Prof. Amitya said the future of the Faculty of Psychology UGM will thrive and shine more when we work with compassion, sincerity, sincerity, discipline, and love. The team's new vice-dean of the Faculty of Psychology UGM dream will become a reference solution the nation's problems. In reality, the dream is in the process of going form the real work has been done by its predecessors. "So what if our faculty known as faculties open, comprehensive, synergistic in establishing patterns of academic and non-academic work related to the completion of the nation's problems? Key word here is the solution, useful, and contribute," he said.

Dean of the Faculty of Psychology UGM period 2008-2012, Supra Wimbarti, M.Sc, Ph.D, also thanked the father / mother who was accompanying the vice dean and dean of the faculty in paddling or defend from 2008 until 2012. Dean hopes that this new team can work optimally and work together. Further said that one thing that will be the cornerstone of this work is a new Dekanat referring to applicable law, all processes will be adjusted by the law of the new college year and regulations that exist at the University. "For that we also request the cooperation of all parties. This is our work, all of the success or lack of success is a combination of all of our work," he said.

Hastabrata: Complex Leadership Philosophy and Ideal

Hastabrata itself comes from Sanskrit. Hasta means eight and Brata the behavior or actions of self-control. Hastabrata leadership symbolize the eight natural elements, namely earth, sun, fire, ocean, sky, wind, moon, and stars. Each element defines each Hastabrata ideal characteristics of a leader.

Leadership does have its own uniqueness to the discussion. As performed by the team of Action Plan SP2MP at GSP some time ago on Hasta Brata Leadership Workshop: Bringing Back Local Wisdom-Based Leadership with 100 participants.

Workshop Hasta Brata give treats exciting events in terms of the concept through planning activities. Not only the material and discussions, participants also get a symbol Hastabrata through the elements of theatrical performance art Hastabrata leadership.

History Hastabrata
Hastabrata The term comes from the Sanskrit Hindu scriptures, Manawa Dharma Sastra. Hastabrata concept in the book is that the leaders of the imperial act in accordance with the character of the gods. Hastabrata became a benchmark of leadership in that period.

When the religion of Islam to enter the island of Java, the great value of the gods as Hastabrata element was adjusted to the principles of Islam as a religion of monotheism Islam.Pengaruh change the concept of gods in Hastabrata into eight elements of nature. The existence Hastabrata as local wisdom appears in some ancient books and manuscripts. Transformation properties into eight elemental gods of nature itself noted in manuscript Pustakaraja Purwa.

Sublime value Hastabrata
Here are eight natural elements Hastabrata leadership:

1. Earth
As a place of life, the earth provides all the basic needs of living things. Earth is a solid and always gives to all beings. Like the earth, the leader must be able to give and sturdy. Giving selflessly to the community that he Ayomi and be the first to be reliable.

2. Sun
Through sunlight creatures on earth able to live and move. Always get energy from the sun, allowing living things to grow and flourish. Leaders provide energy in the form of a vision, goals, and reasons for any such decision. Giving just as the sun is giving continuously, until he did not realize that it has done a lot for others.

3. Fire
Fire has a clear legal, it burns whatever is touching it. Although it is destructive, it is a natural element fairest among others. The nature of fire spontaneously but stable reflects the courage and conviction. Bold and confident to 'destroy' the problems that arise in the future. In addition, the nature of fire that appears when a problem also represents firmness and courage in management decision-making.

4. Ocean
Downstream for all streams. Though not all rivers carrying runoff. However, the oceans receive water from any river, whether it's dirty or clean. Like the ocean, the leader is a person who opens his eyes and pkiran widely. Receive opinions from around the mark of a leader to respect others.

Ocean also process all the water content in the depths of the river water. So also with the leader. He did not swallow it raw input coming. By thinking carefully all opinions there, leaders are able to acquire new knowledge of the surrounding area.

5. Sky
Unlike the horizon or the horizon, the horizon is only an optical illusion because of the limitations of the human sensory organs. The sky is the roof of truth for the earth. The sky is the horizon. He is a symbol for the breadth of knowledge. A figure that symbolizes the sky has the competence, ability, and skills that can be taught to others.

6. Wind
The wind can blow anywhere. He formed when there is a difference in air pressure. The leader is a person presence and influence can be felt by the surrounding. The existence of the leader is not as simpol of power. He was a man who jumped a problem and care about the conditions encountered.

7. Month
Months can only be seen at night. When looking at the moon, there is a sense of peace in the dark. The leader must be a person who gives peace to the surroundings. Comfortable sense of peace and make the heart gembira.Juga gives hope about when all the conditions giving despair.

8. Star
One of nature's most beautiful elements that can be seen when the evening. Not only beautiful, it gives direction of the wind to those in need. Becomes the leader and guide for the environment. Being a director means to be an inspiration to others. Being a leader means having the inspiration of the basic principles the spirit of leadership.

Complex and Ideal
Hastabrata is one of the most complex leadership philosophy that exists today. Not only is complex, with a philosophy of Java Hastabrata brings several advantages as a concept of leadership. With all the above properties, the leader of the eight characteristics Hastabrata is bringing the most ideal leadership traits.

Am I still a Virgin?

Am I still a Virgin?

Problems:
I am 25 years old girl, I have a problem with my boyfriend, every time we met he always asked for sex. I can not resist the desire he FINALLY he asked simply to masturbate on my vagina. Every time we meet we often masturbated, I was surprised to see my vagina bleeding, time to masturbate I do not feel the pain in my vagina and my evenings menstrual cramps but my red blood blackish.
My question is, do I still virgin? A sign of what comes out of blood was blackish. Mother, help me, I have sinned, whether God forgive me?
***************
Answer:
It seems that you are so anxious and fearful for the consequences of the actions that you have done. Losing virginity very valuable for a woman supposed to be a disaster. All women who still have moral values ​​in him would have felt guilty and anxious if there is "damage" to the blood thinner membrane that characterize virginitasnya before she married.
But unfortunately lust often silenced when the conscience is so mastered self-control. I am sure that you know that the deeds you have done with a girlfriend is something wrong, but you are powerless to resist the urge of lust so strong, then only realized now worried that the crown worth in yourself may be damaged.
I am sorry for sexual behavior you did with my boyfriend. Masturbating girlfriend may indeed be damaging "virginity" if it is done by entering "something" into the vagina. One characteristic of the tearing of the hymen is bleeding due to rupture of blood vessels found in the lining of blood. Namunjika not rupture the blood vessels so the blood would not come out, so the sign of the loss of virginity does not always cause bleeding from the vagina.
To determine whether you are still "virgin" or not you should really see a doctor, because no one can be sure unless the medical examination. But if it turns out "not" something happened to you, so be careful with your sexual behavior is.
Because if you masturbate with a boyfriend (like petting) and he issued a sperm very close to your genitals then pregnancy is still possible. Because even though there was no "intercourse" but sperm may still penetrate thin layers of underwear and swim through the vaginal opening.
Before something happens that makes you regret even can destroy your future then you should repent. If allowed to get married then marry immediately or disconnect the relationship with the man because of the temptation of lust is not easily denied if you are near him. And always remember God's mercy and forgiveness is very spacious for those who will repent.
Wallahu'alambishawab.
By: Rr. Anita W.

Already Planning Polygamy

Already Planning Polygamy
Problems:

Hello
I, want to marry my girlfriend, but I always had the idea of ​​polygamy. Blame if I tell my boyfriend before marriage, that someday I wanted to practice polygamy? Because my friends in my office banyakyangmenikah secretly without the knowledge of his old wife. Meanwhile, I would like if I polygamy, the first wife I should know. How is polygamy legal?
Trimakasih


***************




Answer:

Someone when planning to settle down, it's natural to prepare himself. Not only prepare financially but in terms of sheer physical and mentalpun should also be of interest to both parties.

Among these are that before the wedding, the bride ought to have a thorough understanding of building a home. That's why usually KUA invite both prospective bride to listen to the advice of marriage before the wedding.

The purpose menage include family formation sakinah, mawaddah warrahmah and children as successor Salih and sholehah parents and offspring generation for religion and nation.

RHD brother Therefore, before you want to practice polygamy, are you sure that it would perpetuate domestic purposes will you wake up? Will there be happiness, serenity, tranquility and love it decorate your family?

My advice you should first focus your orientation to how to build the ideal family, happy with children who are not only devoted to the elderly but also intelligent and can be a 'person' for the nation and religion.

That is a form of a male responsibility that double play nice As with the husband, father and head of the family. And if someone is really taking responsibility, with only one wife would have to have a 'spirit of jihad' incredible.

Although there is no legal prohibition for someone to ban polygamy but a lot of people who abandoned the child and family, do injustice (injustice), proud and arrogant.

Even if there are found to follow the way of the prophet Muhammad, let him first read and study his life fully and completely, as when, how and why he is polygamous.
Wallahu'alam.




Satria Hadi Lubis
Sources: EraMuslim

Deal Desire Husband

Deal Desire Husband
Problems:

Assalamu Wr Wb,
I am a housewife who has been married four years. Lately my husband diligently follow recitation. He also began to change. He also became a problem was always firmly in Islam, such as requiring women to wear the hijab socks and wide, which essentially should cover all genitalia. I became a bit depressed with this requirement.

Actually I'm used to the veil. But wearing socks and a big scarf, make my family accept less. The reason, they are afraid of people looking at me the extreme. But for the sake of obeying husbands, little by little I try to wear it until it got used.

But I am a bit uncomfortable with scorn from the outside and from my family. According to Aa, do I have to obey the wishes of their husbands or parents? How good is that?
Regards,


***************




Answer:

Wa'alaikumussalam Wr Wb,
One key to living comfortably is to have knowledge. Ideally, she should not labor for their husbands, but labor for the foundation of science. Science is we get to learn a lot, get through books, radio, sermons, television, etc.. When you know the science, the charity that we do will be more reassuring. Any decisions would be more appropriate.

Obedience to the husband is obligatory, while not deviating from the rules of religion. What was ordered husband to Mrs. cover nakedness, God willing, kind and according to the rules of religion. The problem, perhaps the mode of delivery and the mother was unwise not understand the rule. Suggestions Aa, multiply establish communication with her husband. After that help parents to understand. This is where the importance of preaching and establish relationship.

Middle road is how Mom can close the genitals as well without anyone else suspicious. The most important first meet veiled terms, such as not strict, not transparent, and cover all parts of the body, except the face and palms. The model can be adapted to the conditions of the surrounding community. Allah knows best.



KH Abdullah Gymnastiar
Source: Republika Online

Purpose of Life

Purpose of Life
Problems:

I am a male aged 21 yrs. Basically I live from a religious family, but my first love is the one who committed the sin and love seduced by the world (devotee of love than God) and even with it (love) I made my living as an encouragement. Until now, I still try from time to time to continue to improve intentions, yourself and repent to Allah.

But the more I get closer to Him, as if the world did not become too attractive in the eyes, heart and my passion. So I just want to get closer to God, and even crossed the desire to become a Sufi. But I am reminded of the Hadith apostle to maintain a balance between this world and the hereafter.

Now I can not seem to determine the direction of your goals and expectations that can make me excited from time to time and as a motivator For something I pursue from time to time. So that my soul seemed to be empty with no ambition or goals, and just follow the direction of the flow of life alone. My question is:
1. Is yangsaya feel this? Until now I had blum interchangeable define it?
2. What is the best solution for me?
3. And the goal is the plg best for His servant?


***************



Answer:

Ananda Adha which I respect, salute before you make that can understand and change your life for the better.

Enjoy and live life begins from our perspective on life. How do we make sense of life lived and processes. And man was created by the Deity is to benefit. Not only for himself but also for others and the environment. God does not just tell people to do the prayer and worship only other individual, but also asked to do deeds-social deeds, tithing, infaq, doing good and avoiding evil deeds and understand the creation of creation. Therefore, God made man as Caliph on earth serrta a blessing for the universe (Qur'an 21: 107). And the Prophet also stated in a hadith "The best among you is the one most beneficial to others."

To that end, fix our life paradigm that the main thing in life is the emphasis on the process for a better life. Although that does not mean the intention and purpose underestimated. Savings is the main pious charity, let alone be able to leave a legacy for future generations meaningful as our predecessors who left various science so it is easy to get closer to Allah through pious charity.

Meaningful legacy that will make us happy in the world and smiles happy in the Hereafter. As said Sayyid Qutb when he will face death on the gallows, "the real happiness I feel is when I feel confident that I have left something valuable for successor generations."



Satria Hadi Lubis
Sources: EraMuslim

Past Husband

Past Husband
Problems:

I was 30 years old, my wife of 30 years. We got married three years ago, is now blessed with a child. I was always curious about his past with his ex-girlfriend. Originally from the psychological side of it but eventually I would like to know as well what they are doing.

Of events began when I saw pictures of her in college with people who became his girlfriend and pages thesis offerings that make me jealous and uncomfortable.

He twice courtship. With the A, he is very loving and courtship lasted for 1.5 years. Both were dropped because their parents forbid their children seeing the A (new college dating). Soon the B meet at CCN. I am a newcomer and his wife knew when she was going out with the B.

I am familiar with my wife as we become new employees at the same company and department. My wife was going out with the B and I become a place to vent when he is in trouble with the B. He then felt more in tune with me and decide if I want B to be his girlfriend. The B assessed his IQ level is low.

All the information that I had heard when I was dating and memakluminya, no problem. But after looking at the photos that are so intimate (which I've seen so far), and a letter offering thesis of the B-containing deep meaning, I am very curious to know the what they have done during courtship. I want to know the details and the more detail-deteilnya getting me very sick.

I realize it's actually not be done, but I can not deny my curiosity. It's very draining, and his wife felt very cornered with questions that are cornering him.

How do I relieve my curiosity about her past. Wife always answered honestly and it makes me very sick (for example, he had hugged and kissed in the parking lot of the A etc. ... etc. ..). How can I assume that it is not uncommon at the time of courtship, so that I can receive a great soul.

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Answer:

SA's jealous brother,
Looks like your attitude associated with a feeling of guilt that you are not aware of. I infer from your sentence that says, ".. when the wife was still going out with the B B ..... and will decide if I want to be pacaranya ...." Negative feelings such as jealousy, anxiety, doubt, and so it will drain your energy because only love free condition (unconditional love) that can add energy.

The photos you see in this paper and offering the actual facts that are "neutral" but because of your own fears about your ability to keep the love of his wife, that's what makes you perceive that more affectionate wives and girlfriends favor with the earlier. Perhaps also in the relationship of husband and wife, you catch, but never asked directly, that your wife enjoy it less. This can affect the flavor of PD (confident) men, so suspicious that his wife once more enjoy in the past.

I suggest, you no longer mendedes or targeted because it can REALLY - REALLY ANNOYING wife PLEASURE (frustration) and can keep from your wife (although physically close but inwardly depressed. (Wife is the business for what it is ... a scar still less trustworthy). Moreover, the You permasalahkan is past, you are not to pivot wife of birth ... not fair to question something that happened before you know.

How, by realizing that when we see faults in others (wife), actually all of it is a reflection of the lack of an unconscious, felt is in us, so perhaps you are not happy because comparing with personal experience in the ago. Please refer to and openly express your doubts, of course with being polite. Jalinlah closeness based on mutual trust, love, right, the new kid a scar already collapsed household!



Pamugari Widyastuti
Source: Kompas Cyber ​​Media

Confused, Pick The Intellect Or The Establishment

Confused, Pick The Intellect Or The Establishment
Problems:

I am a girl (28), working in the field of sales that made me to meet many people. Lots of traveling out of town, even out of the country, if the office sent me to the show or seminar that can add insight. The office where I work is very supportive of my career development.

Imagine, Mom, I just sort of graduate school princess cleverness, but because of the achievements and targets are always met, I was sent to school to earn a bachelor's degree-1. If I wanted, I also allowed the school to the next level, as long as the fixed sales target achieved. Compared to my friends who go with me, what I got was very pretty, even female friends have dropped out all, because married or because they can not reach the target.

My serious girlfriend is a high school classmate who is now out and open their own business outside Java. It's a big city, but, it is not like in Java. I've been there on holiday a few times, but after 3 days, my dizzy, what should I do? I can not imagine, what would happen if I also had to stay there because of marriage with this PS (serious girlfriend). In fact, the business is well established and for the past 7 years of dating, we broke up was 3 years, but keep in touch.

He has started talking about marriage, ma'am, but I'm still preoccupied with work and, this one, ma'am, that my boyfriend casually (PI).

PS If you are hardworking and a huckster like me, then the PI is an office employee (not written yes, ma'am specific activity). Did not I agreed with me that my work is not like that sometimes have to explore the shops, as well as traditional markets to sell?

With PI, I had to close since last 2 years, so I honestly just a year "faithful" since splitting with PS. In the second year he moved, I was already familiar with the PI. His world was so different from my world. He was serious, educated, hobbies are reading, listening to classical music and watching the painting exhibition.

If I were invited to dinner with friends, not in fast food restaurants as I always do with PS the very practical, visiting all sales outlets. We went to a five star hotel, dine while listening to live music. Anyway it feels romantic and very intelligent.

After going to the PI, I am so happy to dress up, good buy good books, discuss topics that are in, and it also increases the need to broaden the horizon. PS Why do not I let go? Because, in meeting the needs of a woman, I feel more capable PS made me feel safe, protected and have someone guide me. The drawback is 'less cool' and not a PI intellect. Jealousy makes me ge-er, big flavor that I was really the maintenance of a well. In short, I am not excited and wondered to myself, did he seriously think I meant to him. Perhaps, this is also what makes me tend to oversimplify, PS, yes, ma'am. If you underestimate, heck, I guess not.

While the PI, because the modern spirit, I want to be able to really feel aligned with him. Trying democratic and never tried to know the personal side of me, if I did not start it. For example, he did not ask me introduce you to the parents, but did not resist when I introduce. He always keep my personal life, my privacy, not bothered by it. Did not ask about my past, because he was not happy when I try to dig deeper into his past.

He thinks, what matters is the present and the future. Since both parents are dead and I do not know how many brothers he, I practically do not know you at all PI. Unlike right with the PS that I know the whole family, even grandparents and neighbors in his childhood, in his hometown first.

Certainly smarter PI makes me soar into the sky with a shipment flowers, visits, and full of surprise gifts and words that clearly express his love on me. That is, never be uttered by the PS. We talk more about how the sales strategy can we use to work, in order to obtain higher commissions and quickly got the money to get married stock. On marriage, PI gives 'signs' indirectly that he had not wanted to be bound, as he loudly once suggested that I go to school anymore.

Are not I so got three choices, Mom? Married with PS, which also means my career finished up here. I also do not like the thought that after marriage remains to be far apart the PS. If yet my work again, apparently this means I help business. And I had to live in the city where the PS now do business.

Go back to school, can contain the consequences of losing PS, since he has repeatedly said it was tired of dating and want to quickly settled family. Although when I went to school again, I am sure I will get better insight and it is not impossible, would be more career skyrocketed. In my office there are no women with S-2 in the path of these sales.

Choosing remains dating to the PI still makes me nervous, because it does not feel 100 percent sure that I was not a friend isengnya, but he has serious intentions on me. Hopefully, I am not the type of women who are afraid of being chased age, ma'am, but if you have to do this-this continues for 3 or 4 years, while there are men who established and clearly loves me and invite mate, not stupid name that I chose is the uncertainty?

Apparently, more and more I feel that the burden is heavy, ma'am, so lately at work also began to focus not. As with PS was sometimes there is a sense of guilt, as well as with PI wondering exactly who he is? Because of my efforts to further identify themselves during these did not produce any results.

Bu Rieny help me, huh? Thank you.

****************



Answer:

People who still have a chance to choose is usually a happy person, because there are many women who did not have a choice and then live a life full of compulsion. It turns out, have a lot of options also provide the opportunity for confusion, huh Linda? Confused because it appears in all the alternative options available, Linda still has an element of uncertainty. His name is also talking about human beings, does not there may be 100 percent sure.

However, it is also a fact that more people are choosing and then do not regret the choice, as those who can be said to be 'wrong choice'. Why? Try, Linda deh look, not Linda will find that they are in a hurry to make a decision, that is not accompanied by the desire to find relevant information as possible, while being true to themselves, will usually feel miscast. Why? Because when setting the option that he did not examine it well, what need in him to be satisfied with the choice had dropped. If you choose or decide on something more because of the insistence of things outside himself, greater the chances for a mistake. And even worse if it's actually someone else choose for us!

In connection with options regarding important decisions in life, the first you must understand correctly is yourself. If we call L and I and N and D and A are good at selling it, we are actually talking about a figure that like? What did he make his goals, what he wants for his future, how he would like to achieve? More importantly, what are the advantages and what are the weaknesses and shortcomings as a human being?

Then, for the name of marriage, how 'a Linda' live and give meaning to the tie? The more obvious answer, increasingly know Linda put herself in the arena of life choices that have to be taken. Linda would say choose correctly and wisely, if it turns more positive side that accompany decisions or choices Linda eventually take.

How to make that choice did not miss much of what Linda thought, and expect in the future? The answer back to myself again Linda. Makin know what Linda would gain by choosing one that is more stable later Linda live. The most vulnerable point of fact here, because people (especially women) make a lot of important decisions in his life based on faith and understanding that are not realistic about the reality presented in front of him.

About choosing a partner, for example. If Linda is basically a romantic woman who expects to be fulfilled needs romantismenya through marriage, wrong when choosing a PS that seems (like most men) is the figure of a practical-practical way of looking at life and marriage.

But if Linda believes that the requirement to obtain a marriage will establish together with someone, while meeting the needs for clothing, food, shelter and further reassurance that her husband was not easy to fall in love with another woman, less wise to choose the man who once smooth mouth seduction-seduction issued a lull women into the sky. Typically, he did so easily repeat the same thing to other women who are digandrunginya!

What about factors spouse or potential spouse? Obviously we need to know how to interpret it a marriage. What is the meaning of marriage for our boyfriends? If we have a lot in common here, it's easier to process mutual understanding between the two, rather than understanding that a marriage is much different between the two.

Then, as this will be a long-term contract, even a lifetime (we hope not if marriage is for life once), to remember, too, that people are always changing and evolving. Will we, the husband and wife, grown with up to 10 or 15 years from now, not the gap created due to the level of education, background, interests and skills to make money differently?

At your age, should aspects are interrelated also increasingly complex. There is a career there, there is also a need to add a title, while the work yourself, if increasing degree, you'll gain a greater opportunity. How then you compensate these opportunities, if only it then lost because you have to take a husband?

You did not ask me, what if I became Linda, what decisions would I take? But I'd like to share, what if I became Linda. The first one, I would say to myself,'' I think I've got enough levels of loyalty to my girlfriend. The proof, I'm going out again so the PS away. "Then, I will also disconnect the PI, because after all I did not visit was steady go together with it. Proof, I still maintain my PS distant outer islands. Would not this meant that he also had a sense comparable to PI is looking intellect?

If I were Linda, I would think hard, lest I not love and falling in love, but because PI can present a completely different experience to what I live for it with PS, I marveled at once flattered. Next to him and cause a sense of comfort, but mungkiiiiin, this is not love, you know. Just something different course from what was experienced and lived over the years.

Well, is not it then be brought Linda to thinking about what LOVE really is? Create a list deh, the accompanying feelings, and how PI and PS can fulfill. If everything did not give sufficient confidence, it's okay too, if you do not pick it both ways and go back to school? Well, that about this one, do not be joined in my words, yes Linda, because Linda's final word must remain decisive.

Thus, regardless of the risks posed by these options later, Linda would not blame anybody but myself Linda alone. What if this time the "science of sales" it used? The questions are answered Linda dear, why do people decide to buy? Should not it not only because of LOVE? Well, hopefully Linda also carefully before buying, uh one, before making a choice. Lots of love.



Rieny
Sources: Nova

Loss of Motivation

Loss of Motivation
Problems:

I want to consult. I've been often confide to friends about my problems, but to no avail. I'm confused, why as if life is not fair.

I am frustrated by the failure to achieve the target of 4-year college that caused my parents disappointed hopes disappear. And I'm sure if I could be in the lesson, but why do I feel as though I will be inhibited so that all of what I try so far in vain. I really fall now. I do not know what to ask for help to anyone else to restore my motivation has been lost. Hopefully this answers a bit later can enlighten me. Thank you.


***************



Answer:

Failure is something that is painful and every person must have felt a failure although with different levels. Even many around us - without us knowing - those that have failed to higher levels than thought
What we must understand is how we respond to this failure. Since you consider the severity of the problem, you feel that being "dogged unbroken unfortunate", and eventually become apathetic and demoralized. You also end up confused as to solve the problem. Actually, apathy and confusion not have to happen if you can still think clearly. Usually, the problem becomes heavy and confused to solve it because we can not separate yourself from the problem and too emotionally involved.

But if you try to "keep a distance" from the problems and controlling your emotions, problems will be more easy to find a solution. By thinking clearly, you can break down the problem better. You can more easily find the root cause of the problem. And that's the root cause then you try to find a solution.
Therefore, do not consider weight problems facing so you can keep the spirit of optimism and resolve. That you still able to think clearly to find a solution.

Think of failure as a way to achieve success.
Indeed, in fact the more you fail, the more we know how to get success. Conversely, people who never failed also will never know how to achieve success. This is what you should keep in mind so as not to be disappointed with the failure. If you fail, throw away those thoughts did not dare try it again. Instead you have to be motivated to try again because you are actually getting closer to success.
A strange thing if you are discouraged by failure.

Failure is only painful at first, but after that it contains a lot of wisdom. You'll know more about how to achieve success. Failure as a way to achieve success is not the words that filled rhetoric, but it's been proven to be true by many successful people. One such example, the Prophet Muhammad, Thomas Alva Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Jack Canfield (author of Chicken's Soup series), Billi PS. Lim (author of "Dare to Fail"), and others.

If you believe that failure is not failing in the real sense, but "conditions" for success, then you will never be pessimistic about the failure. Instead you will increase the spirit of failure. Even if you have experienced failure more and more, great growing your spirit to try again. Because you are sure that soon you will achieve success.



Satria Hadi Lubis
Sources: EraMuslim

Minder For Appearance

Minder For Appearance
Problems:

Miss Maya, I am a 24 year old woman, about to graduate college. It's been years was not happy with the condition of the body and my appearance is not attractive. Frankly, I think I'm ugly, I mean physically, not pretty interesting as others. Clothing styles, make-up or whatever hairstyle try-try, it does not find a match, it all makes me appear more strange and sad that I hate myself. I felt my body was too skinny and shapeless, not to mention the color of my skin are dark and dull, wear whatever color is so dead and not matching. Hair too thick and stiff to be less manageable. The most miserable, I felt my face was not pretty, but mommy and daddy arguably quite beautiful / handsome. Although he felt guilty for not appreciate a gift from God, can not I avoid I often envied by other women who can look like a model, white and clean, wearing what looked confident and flexible so it can be a lot of friends. As for me, always feel confident not so lazy socializing. I've followed the skin care in specialized clinics, formerly also pretty diligent to the spa for a treatment that is quite expensive. Now I've been lazy and stopped in the middle of the road because money runs out and no results.

It was really stressful ya, I'm not a spirit for life, even I'm actually very lazy college and hang out. 's My favorite place is my bedroom, where I can reflect and cry as much. I want to get out of this problem, because I know it's not healthy. But how do ya?

***************



Answer:
Dear Rosa, problem rooted in the perception and subjective evaluation are negative about yourself, which makes you feel physically look unattractive and also makes you think that other people think so. In fact, it is not necessarily correct tablets.

Recognizing the shortcomings themselves to a certain extent is good, so you do not become arrogant and narcissistic (self adore). Pain is not satisfied with appearance can also be a booster for the diligent care of yourself, exercise, attention to diet and nutrition, as well as add insight into fashion trends and makeup in order to appear more attractive. However, all that is finite, must not become an obsession that controls your mind, makes you feel very uncomfortable (even hate!) With yourself, you're stressed and consequently fell into depression.

Actually, there is a special term for the extreme discomfort of the performances themselves, namely body dysmorphic disorder. On the condition or disorder is considered pathological, the sufferer feeling very disturbed even hate her physical appearance is believed poor, unattractive, so he was depressed, stress and depression that interferes with their ability to function healthily in his life (not thinking, working, socializing or run his roles in the family and society). Of course it was very miserable and impossible to enjoy living in such conditions. In fact, the reality is usually not as bad as the people think / feel.

* I would like to ask you to think back about the things that have you believe:

Is it true that you are not attractive?
What is the evidence?
Any losses arising from the belief that? (Think of how many things you did not do or try to avoid you because you think ugly)
Is it true that nothing can be done to improve the situation?

There are some basic things you need to reflect back and biodiversity:
Any attempt you do to change your appearance will not be fruitful result if you do not change or remove your negative first self-assessment. Will be worth it all nice clothes, makeup and hair styles that you use the latest to cover the 'flaw', if deep in your heart you still believe that 'all was to no avail, it will not work to make myself more attractive'.
Physical beauty is not everything and that is totally relative. Kindness, sincerity and humility, manners and sensibility themselves are other things that will give you more value in the eyes of others and it is more universal.


Next, try the following:
Build a more positive self-concept and try to be more objective in judging yourself. Recognize talents-talents and try to continue to develop a positive activity even fruitful achievements to be proud of, so you do not worry about physical appearance glued.
Every individual is unique, so even physically. Rather than focus on the shortcomings and looking for body parts that feel perfect, try to find the parts of the face or your physical unique characteristic or feature characters yourself. Is that great or slanted eyes, small nose, wide lips, but has a charming smile lines, dimples in cheeks, brown skin color is sweet, and so forth. You are unique without needing pretty perfect!
Control yourself to not constantly in the mirror, because it will only add to your worries and make you more and more fixated on the "shortcomings" you.
Put yourself to the family and those closest (parents, siblings, cousins, friends, etc..) And try to make friends with the people around you (could classmates, neighbors, cousins, etc.), because they are a source of emotional support precious. Get rid of fear heckled, insulted, or considered less, because it will only make you more and more shut down and avoid promiscuity. Try to be more open, they make the vent to talk about negative emotions you feel and listen to the advice that can foster self-esteem.
If the problem is deemed too severe to overcome yourself, seek professional help with a visit to a psychologist or psychiatrist who practices in your city. You can undergo therapy to transform yourself into a more positive assessment, but be careful if you decide to use antidepressants to treat depression. Understand completely all side effects that may be caused by the use of a long and continuous.

Indeed, to foster self-confidence and develop a more positive self-concept and the process takes time that is not easy. However, try to survive and be patient, instill a strong desire within you to be more loving and live comfortably with yourself. Believe Rosa.



Maya Harry, Psi
Sources: Indonesian Women

Cum Laude "Stupid"?

Cum Laude "Stupid"?
Problems:

"Mrs. Leila good, read Rubric Consulting on April 10 entitled" Abusing Husband Likes Me, "I like to see my self portrait. Husband I got style, like harassing, Hebring even more, because a family package" hobby " harassment, the law, besan, the "outsiders" like me. From lightweight (less vegetable salt) to heavyweight (parents like that, chased and threatened to divorce). husband also loved to humiliate me in front of his friends, relatives him, and my brother.

We have three years of marriage. The most sad though because my husband made stamp that I can not be happy because he's not much of my income and can not drive. He certainly did not want to do that Mom would suggest to look at the various partner goodness because he always saw the glass as half empty, not vice versa.

Insults like idiot, stupid, uneducated, do not know the rules, has become the daily menu, which like it or not I have to swallow. And I know I'm not stupid and ignorant because I graduated from a good college cum laude and has a great career in their own country. My parents are also educated, my father and my mother doctorate engineers. They have a good position in Indonesia.

In Indonesia, I had two drivers and four helpers. However, all that I left because I was married to my husband who had almost twenty years of living here with his family. Only about seven months here I got a job, not a lot of salary for the job is moving in the social sphere.

My boss believed in my ability and he always told me that I was smart, clever, and a hard worker. Even then I was promoted to work in some other states with better salaries, but the husband does not agree.

My parents raised us should not insult others, should appreciate the maid. Do not call people with dogs and pigs. Street thugs just do not call it that, but it's pronounced wife made here.

I admit we were both a lot of mistakes, that I try In order to improve. However, it is very difficult because there is a sense of anger, disappointment, and I do not want to be trampled continue.

Probably my biggest mistake was first long-distance courtship. I do not know him closely. Goodness husband is he basically very helper, let alone for others. Help me Mrs. Leila, what can my husband do to save this marriage? "


***************



Answer:

Five years of marriage is the beginning of the most difficult period since had to adjust to living in a home with a partner. In doubles you feel its weight because you do not know him in real terms, plus an adjustment living in a foreign country. Plus the attitude of husbands and relatives who like to harass when you most need support.

However, do not despair Y, I believe you are smart and strong. Try to take a look at this problem gracefully.

1. You graduated with cum laude in college in your field, but about the kitchen, nyopir, and living habits in a foreign country, you still beloon genuine knowledge. A local professor is not necessarily know how to make egg scramble albino child can do 10-something years.
Be prepared to learn from those who have advanced in terms of the kitchen, cheap shopping, nyopir without incurring penalties. Learn with humility and sincerity. Do not be offended when reprimanded, come laugh when they laugh at the stupidity of us.

2. Invite your husband work together in an effort to up grade your self. Do not be upset if reprimanded. I see a medical specialist known in Indonesia has repeatedly failed to get a driver's license in Cambridge because no bribe because there is also the right wheel. You are lucky to have a husband helper.
Ask help support your efforts to learn many new things. Relationship experts say, we need to express our desire and warned if anything goes wrong. However, do so wisely and well that does not make people upset.

3. Certainly hard to change their habits in harassing people, but you do not have to follow that. Get used to the comments about the "glass half full" view of the good and people from different circumstances. It's good for your mental health as well as their own.

4. Exercise is right for you is to know each other better in the first. Getting to know each of the past, present, and future. Intricacies of fear, excitement, and dreams. For example, by asking and answering each question: who is a close friend while in elementary school? What is the most dreaded experiences as a child? What is the most fun first? What are the day-to-day activities and who is close friends at work? Music and movies are most popular and which are not? Dreams and aspirations of what you want to accomplish?

Show intimacy and warmth in attitude as a couple. If so diligently over time he will be affected as well, a softer heart, and your marriage will be more affectionate.



Leila Ch Budiman
Sources: Compass Media Cybers

Finding the Desire yet Companion

Finding the Desire yet Companion
Problems:

I am a 26-year-old boy, in April next year inshaAllah I even entered the age of 27 years. A number of marriage duly did. However I have the following constraints:

Actually I was ready to go into marriage. My sincere intention to foster home full of blessing God. However, I am confused should marry whom. To this day I do not have a candidate companion of that as I want. Actually a lot of women who offer their love to me, but I can not accept them because I do not love them. I just think of them as friends only. Actually I've been told that I have the physical perfection and maybe everything. Alhamdulillah in terms of my religion too unreliable though not too faqih in the problem, but the fundamentals of the Islamic law to have understood me, the material I have already had, and may be practically established because I am a businessman though not great, education is also alhamdulillah since I graduated SI.

But my boys are very shy, I do not have the courage to get acquainted with the woman that I like especially to express the word love. I do not know what to do. I crave a woman beautiful face, slender, graceful, berakhlaq and shy, and can socialize with anyone. I was really craving a woman like Fatimatuzzahra. But nevertheless I have not got. While the desire to get married is always disturbing, especially when I read the sweet story of the Prophet with Aisha's mother. The desire was more passionate.

I dream about a woman who can make me closer to God. But I also always prioritize her physically, even if religion and morality is much more important than all of that. What should I do? I fear that it stays like this, because Satan is always tempting to plunge mankind. Please help me. what should I do? So, thank you.
Wassalamualaikum.


***************



Answer:

Assalammu'alaikum wr. wb.
God blessed Surrahman brother, Subhanallah, the favor of Allah on you because you gave so many advantages that make your ideal look in her eyes. Physical possession of the good, educated, religious and financially secure enough. But you seem to be confused as well because even myself have been able to get married and wish for the rose is so big but not yet found the ideal woman you expect.

Looking for a couple who meet all the desired criteria is not easy and it often makes a person ultimately kept delaying the wedding blocked until marriage. Nothing wrong was to establish criteria for our partner, but if things seem urgent for us (like worrying fall in adultery) tastes better if it can be somewhat flexible by adjusting the bit between expectations and reality.

This means that although existing criteria you specify then try to make a priority value from it, so as to criteria not a priority maybe you can be more lenient. Like we choose something, then usually if nothing really fit with what we want then we will choose the most similar objects or even if not all of the functions that we expect there, namuntetap give us kepuasankarena has an advantage on the other.

And of course it should be a priority so that does not make you wrong should be adjusted with the guidance of the prophets that always makes religion and morality as a top priority. And in this case you also might not just passively waiting for someone offered but may actively seek out, for example through a relative or a friend that you think must also have credibility in both the religious and akhlaqnya.

So keep trying with good road and blessed him with is always accompanied by prayer to God. May Allah bring the best match for you according to His good world and the hereafter. Amen.
Wassalammu'alaikum wr. wb.




Sources: Rr Anita W.

Reconciliation

Reconciliation
Problems:

Assalammu'alaikum wr. wb.
Mrs. Anita, my 30-year-old man. Not long ago I experienced the events that rocked my life. I'm going through a divorce after being married for 3 years, and already has a son almost 2 years old. My ex-wife was 30 years old. During the wedding, my household is always tinged with controversy. This is due to differences in conflicting thoughts. He's actually a lot to know the laws of religion, but more seeking relief-relief that is not in place.

I stamped extremely religious and extreme in his religion, but I think the actual content of my faith is still very far from perfect. When I run the daily prayers, I considered abandoning our son which he had always watched and guarded. Though we live not alone but with his parents in the house so crowded people. I considered less responsible as more important than family worship, although it is an individual duty of worship.

During his marriage to her, I was quiet, trying to be patient and obey his will because he wanted to avoid a bigger fuss. In addition it was also because I felt did not have any power against my ex-wife, because it is a condition we are still riding in his parents' home in the town of X, and I am at work in the town of Y due to my ex-wife was afraid to live self-deprivation and fear when joined with me in town Y, In addition he also still love to leave her job at a hotel, which is surrounded by the luxury of making it more often look up.

I feel I have no power as the leader of the family while in his parents' house, because I was not able to guide and make it obedient to her husband as long as he still insisted to stay at home parents. He still often hide behind their parents. Even the name of my gift to our son who Insha Allah was not significantly better everyday wear, a nickname used is that it provides that no element pray, so that the original name of my son was drowned. At that time I think often we divorce it may be better, because I feel very heavy responsibility that I carry with married him, I was not able to figure out how what else should I use for membinanya and make it obedient.

From the subtle way in the form of an invitation to tender and rough words angrily. In fact I often made threats to him, as if these circumstances continue and told he would not respect me as a leader of the family, then I am no longer able to keep this marriage. When I say that he, too, fell silent. I realized that in fact we still love each other, but the behavior often does not reflect that. Especially when considering the conditions we already have a son, I tried to dampen appetite for divorce. However, the incidence of divorce was ultimately inevitable, then I've moved on to work in country Z, while he was still in town X.

Just because a small problem that could have been resolved by speaking well and push each other each esteem, I buried a time bomb that finally exploded too when I visited him at his parents' house. I give her back to her parents. But eventually we both regretted my decision is. Especially considering we already have a son, I am afraid our son will be a lot of hurt, even though he lived with his grandparents. Although I know they are loved his grandchildren, even beyond the way my love. I tried to self-introspection, that probably I lack patience in educating the ex-wife. And finally, we also intend to reconcile.

He was willing to come with me to the country and the world Z leave work to bring our son. But when the final decision to refer is in sight, as preparations are made to ask her back from her parents and fetch him and our son, he raised an issue that really bothers me and makes me annoyed. She wanted me to sign a letter of agreement on the reconciliation seal, stating that I would love her and our son, and if when he moved in with me and leave his world of work and, when I had finally divorce her again, I asked to be willing to give living at 1/3 my salary, division of property gono gini fair, and our son still has not been able to join her for a vote.

All these agreements fall when he made a mistake. The mistake he specifically mentioned was just an affair, but I never betrayed our marriage, I divorced him the reason was because I was no longer able to be a leader for him. I am facing a dilemma here. One side of me wanted to raise my children and educate my ex-wife again to get closer to God, on the other hand, if I accept the conditions, I was worried I was holding something that was not there needs to be, and God forbid that have been lawful.

Terms 2 and 3 for me no problem. But the first requirement, is not he should not ask such a thing? And also I fear this agreement will only return undermine my position as a husband, so it can not membinanya, and can not do anything if he does go around. Maybe the deal as collateral for her so that I no longer arbitrarily menalaknya again, but my decision not to refer again to menalaknya and affected her and our son. I really hope she can help me find my way out of this problem. Jazakallah,
Regards,


***************



Answer:

Wassalammu'alaikum wr. wb.
Brother Abd Allah the exalted, it seems not easy ya home life father lived. Just three years running has been so many conflicts experienced by almost led to divorce. Educate and nurture our partner is not as easy as turning the palm of the hand. So much energy and patience to be prepared if there are many differences that must be adjusted. It seems that more time is needed to make households formed as expected father.

Differences of understanding in addressing the religious life lived sometimes want to be an obstacle to forming a family sakinah. Therefore, the process needed to be addressed by understanding and patience so that our spouse can go along with our footsteps. And the words of the practice is not as easy to take, especially in guiding sensibility of a woman needed a husband to be able to dive into his soul. As the Prophet once said to be careful in directing women because like twigs easily bend, but if it is too hard could break it.

Apparently one of the obstacles in guiding father's wife is still living the same roof with the law, with a break away and go to a country Z is a pretty good move. Since independence would be expected to facilitate the cooperation that exists between father and wife. Moreover, the current wife began more succumb to leave her job and want to come move in with the father. But the trauma of separation seems to have occurred is still being felt by the wife. That he was worried that after he left his job then you can act arbitrarily with mentalaknya just when he had no place to rely other than the father. Although I'm sure you have no intention to mentelantarkannya.

I think the father's wife fears are reasonable only felt by a woman who was worried because he had almost divorced before. And it was the right of women in Islam are legitimate use. I think quite the justice of Islam, as Islam gives the right of the husband to mentalak, then istripun given the opportunity to protect themselves by filing requirement for reconciliation. However, it is the contents of the agreement must not violate Islamic law or the other associated with immorality.

For example on the right 1/3 of salary, if the child custody fell on her mother, then the father is obliged to keep giving money to the ex-wife to be able to properly care for the child father. But the treasure gono-gini may need to be clarified, because in Islam there is no equal division of property after divorce. But the truth is treasure to be the husband and the husband's property right of the wife to wife after they divorced again instead of dividing property after divorce amounts affairs sama.Untuk this requirement seems you really need to consult further with the understanding Islamic cleric.

If you fear that it will complicate the filing requirement in nurturing father, should not be. That is not to say you realize it or use it as a weapon for the right to divorce his wife drive. I think the coaching process thus less appropriate for use threats as a way of maintaining compliance, but it would be much better if the process is done with the awareness that couples voluntarily to change. But everything is going back to the father who will establish and foster family. What is written just broaden that can see a different perspective. I pray may the father of a family participate in the protection of Allah SWT always Wallahu'alambishawab.
Wassalammu'alaikum Wr. Wb.



Rr. Anita W.
Sources: Eramuslim.com