Abusing Husband Likes
Problems:
It's not easy to make a romantic marriage, especially when paired with someone who likes to harass.
"Mrs. Leila good, excuse me, I'll go directly to the question I had a mountain of taste. We have ten years of marriage, have a son that smart. Lately I felt it was no longer able to live with my husband, wanted to run away it feels. fact because not great, but it makes my heart ache and this happens often.
There is a habit which he said was not that bad was a cynical attitude. Laugh at and talk bad about his wife in order for other people laugh. I really felt bad, but he always says I do not have a sense of humor. Well, good sense of humor anyway by insulting their partner, whether it is called humor?
My husband is very good and thorough look at ugliness, but it's hard to see the good, especially for saying thank you or sorry. Ah do not exist in his dictionary. That there is this one, it's less. Suppose he invited some people for eating at home. I've cooked four or five kinds of food, he remarked, "Why cook much? Why not the kind of course?"
Why, he invited people to eat, that are only available fried tofu or just offered a cracker, people would say what? Certainly more wives to be laughed at, "Please enjoy my wife's skill: fried crackers." Which would shame me again.
If I had to wash a pile of clothes and socks happened to be left behind, immediately remarked, "Why are not washed, in which your eyes?" Not a big pile that has been done with comments, but rather small, which happen to not get carried away. Anyway, we do not have a maid.
If by chance we were driving to go to a new place and get lost, he would blame me. He said, "Mama's just silent." If I give him, he'll blame me, 'Mama's a love of the road, so wrong. " It feels so awkward.
However, there is still goodness. He was a hard worker and responsible enough. If I get sick, she will notice and buy drugs. But, do I have to get sick first for attention? Mrs. Leila, help us. "
***************
Answer:
Mrs D is good,
Of course, difficult to live with people who like to harass and keen to see the ugliness of our exclusive, while ignoring the good. It feels like bitter foods fed constantly, who hold?
If you want a more intimate atmosphere, change the menu links with the more savory and nutritious food to nourish the good nature of our mates. Try to take a look at the reaction two husbands from their wives who have worked hard doing housework plus a pile of laundry and iron finish.
Husband 1: "Well, ya Mama is hard work, let's make my orange juice." Wife happy, relieved fatigue causes him to notice and appreciate it. His job feels lighter.
Husband 2: (while holding the dirty socks), "Why are not washed, in which your eyes?" Wife hurt. Already working hard, humiliated again. He felt more miserable doing it. Not infrequently wife scolded her husband returned, returned with more exciting again, and so on.
If this situation occurs very often, of course, dangerous to both human health and their marriage. Not surprisingly, Dr. Gottmann, marital therapists and researchers who are sophisticated about the happiness and marital failures, argued criticism and humiliation is a toxin that can damage the marriage. Add a common, harmless added.
To save this marriage, it seems the husband (wife too) need to practice to cultivate a sense of love and admiration to their partner. Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, New York, 1999, which have been translated and published Kaifa Publishers, 2001) gives three stages of training to develop a sense of love and admiration. The point is as follows.
Exercise I: Training the sensitivity to see the good side of our mates.
This exercise is done as a couple. In a piece of paper there were 72 adjectives well, such as loving, intelligent, sensitive, thoughtful, honest, generous, handsome, sexy, energetic, funny, loyal, fun, affectionate, and good-looking. Each chose three words that is appropriate for their partner and write down what the event, until he chose that word. Then they exchange papers and discuss each one.
Often this exercise could dilute the atmosphere is tense and tenuous.
Exercise II: History and philosophy of marriage.
In this session, couples were asked to discuss how they first met. Any aspects that stand out from each pair until the pair decided to get married. Are the obstacles and how to overcome them. Talk about how the wedding, honeymoon, also the transition into parenthood. What times of the happiest and perilous times, and how couples can cope with that distress. Also see the common values and goals to be achieved. How else fails marriage and how it works.
In this exercise most couples will be softened and the relationship becomes more intimate, because remember early experiences and their struggle to live together and think back to the happy moments are.
Exercise III: Implemented in seven weeks.
This exercise is designed to familiarize think positively about your partner. Every day think about the good of the couple, be it nature, act, or experience with, plus goodness wrote these tasks or to plan fun together. Add a hackneyed variety of positive thinking is a good add, for couples who have problems often filled with bad thoughts and judgments about their partner. Task seven this week to compensate and mitigate the negative habits.
Such as physical, mental, even if often trained to be more skilled. Mrs D and her husband, enjoy exercise and preserve it!
Leila Ch Budiman
Source: Kompas Cyber Media
Problems:
It's not easy to make a romantic marriage, especially when paired with someone who likes to harass.
"Mrs. Leila good, excuse me, I'll go directly to the question I had a mountain of taste. We have ten years of marriage, have a son that smart. Lately I felt it was no longer able to live with my husband, wanted to run away it feels. fact because not great, but it makes my heart ache and this happens often.
There is a habit which he said was not that bad was a cynical attitude. Laugh at and talk bad about his wife in order for other people laugh. I really felt bad, but he always says I do not have a sense of humor. Well, good sense of humor anyway by insulting their partner, whether it is called humor?
My husband is very good and thorough look at ugliness, but it's hard to see the good, especially for saying thank you or sorry. Ah do not exist in his dictionary. That there is this one, it's less. Suppose he invited some people for eating at home. I've cooked four or five kinds of food, he remarked, "Why cook much? Why not the kind of course?"
Why, he invited people to eat, that are only available fried tofu or just offered a cracker, people would say what? Certainly more wives to be laughed at, "Please enjoy my wife's skill: fried crackers." Which would shame me again.
If I had to wash a pile of clothes and socks happened to be left behind, immediately remarked, "Why are not washed, in which your eyes?" Not a big pile that has been done with comments, but rather small, which happen to not get carried away. Anyway, we do not have a maid.
If by chance we were driving to go to a new place and get lost, he would blame me. He said, "Mama's just silent." If I give him, he'll blame me, 'Mama's a love of the road, so wrong. " It feels so awkward.
However, there is still goodness. He was a hard worker and responsible enough. If I get sick, she will notice and buy drugs. But, do I have to get sick first for attention? Mrs. Leila, help us. "
***************
Answer:
Mrs D is good,
Of course, difficult to live with people who like to harass and keen to see the ugliness of our exclusive, while ignoring the good. It feels like bitter foods fed constantly, who hold?
If you want a more intimate atmosphere, change the menu links with the more savory and nutritious food to nourish the good nature of our mates. Try to take a look at the reaction two husbands from their wives who have worked hard doing housework plus a pile of laundry and iron finish.
Husband 1: "Well, ya Mama is hard work, let's make my orange juice." Wife happy, relieved fatigue causes him to notice and appreciate it. His job feels lighter.
Husband 2: (while holding the dirty socks), "Why are not washed, in which your eyes?" Wife hurt. Already working hard, humiliated again. He felt more miserable doing it. Not infrequently wife scolded her husband returned, returned with more exciting again, and so on.
If this situation occurs very often, of course, dangerous to both human health and their marriage. Not surprisingly, Dr. Gottmann, marital therapists and researchers who are sophisticated about the happiness and marital failures, argued criticism and humiliation is a toxin that can damage the marriage. Add a common, harmless added.
To save this marriage, it seems the husband (wife too) need to practice to cultivate a sense of love and admiration to their partner. Gottman and Nan Silver (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, New York, 1999, which have been translated and published Kaifa Publishers, 2001) gives three stages of training to develop a sense of love and admiration. The point is as follows.
Exercise I: Training the sensitivity to see the good side of our mates.
This exercise is done as a couple. In a piece of paper there were 72 adjectives well, such as loving, intelligent, sensitive, thoughtful, honest, generous, handsome, sexy, energetic, funny, loyal, fun, affectionate, and good-looking. Each chose three words that is appropriate for their partner and write down what the event, until he chose that word. Then they exchange papers and discuss each one.
Often this exercise could dilute the atmosphere is tense and tenuous.
Exercise II: History and philosophy of marriage.
In this session, couples were asked to discuss how they first met. Any aspects that stand out from each pair until the pair decided to get married. Are the obstacles and how to overcome them. Talk about how the wedding, honeymoon, also the transition into parenthood. What times of the happiest and perilous times, and how couples can cope with that distress. Also see the common values and goals to be achieved. How else fails marriage and how it works.
In this exercise most couples will be softened and the relationship becomes more intimate, because remember early experiences and their struggle to live together and think back to the happy moments are.
Exercise III: Implemented in seven weeks.
This exercise is designed to familiarize think positively about your partner. Every day think about the good of the couple, be it nature, act, or experience with, plus goodness wrote these tasks or to plan fun together. Add a hackneyed variety of positive thinking is a good add, for couples who have problems often filled with bad thoughts and judgments about their partner. Task seven this week to compensate and mitigate the negative habits.
Such as physical, mental, even if often trained to be more skilled. Mrs D and her husband, enjoy exercise and preserve it!
Leila Ch Budiman
Source: Kompas Cyber Media
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